can't stand how easily i get attached to people.

and everything's over now.

不值得 不值得 不值得

雨下着 想哭

and then this verse was sent to me,

nothing to say anymore

beautiful song.moving lyrics.

this new skin doesn't work on Internet explorer!i don't know why coz it looks perfectly fine on google chrome!!!so pissed.== for those who cannot see too bad..haiz:(:(

a chat with mommy that day made me have a better idea about our project OVERPROTECTIVE parents in real life circumstances.my parents are the typical overprotective-to-an-extent-beyond-hope kind of parents.this explains why i was so hopelessly lazy and reliant on others.i never had to do anything on my own,household chores are just part of it.i just have to sit at my desk and water,snacks,fruits will be sent to my mouth.thanks to dad.even bananas are cut up into bite size so i can eat it easily with a toothpick.dad wakes up in the morning just to switch on the lights for me coz i'm afraid of the dark and he wait to open the door for me coz i'm too lazy to.i never need to wash a bowl or plate or cup...so when dad fell down and can't do anything,and i need to take care of household stuff before mommy gets home,i realise i can't survive.life become so hard man==.i need to help with dinner everday,obviously i don't know how to cook,coz usually if nobody cook for me i will rather starve than to cook something myself.so i just have to warm everything mommy already cooked,but i don't how to on the stove,coz the one at my house has to be lit by a matchstick first,and i don't know how to..coz i'm scared of the fire.this is again proven that the overprotective actions of parents has caused children to be over reliant on them and are unable to function when left on their own.

I try to smile my tears away,
I try to keep my cool.
Oh but one more door gets in my way
I feel like such a fool
Trampled and bitter,
My heart just wants to bleed and stop Believing in me.
It feels like nothing is for certain
and that nothing comes for free
When they're lowering the curtain to the theatre of my dreams
I stumble and i crumble and I'm sinking to my knees for you
You cradle me
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again
Noise keeps chasing me
No matter where I go
Oh and life likes pretending that it's on a TV show
When it's hard to tell what's real
From what the world just wants to preach
You are the voice I seek
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again
'cause when I'm wrapped up in your arms
Nothing else can touch me
What a wonderful way to recharge
I feel like I can breathe again
You keep me flying
You keep me smiling
You keep me safe in a crazy world
You understand me
Embrace my fragility
You keep me safe in a crazy world
And in your arms I find the strength to believe in me again




you keep us safe in a crazy world~~


just hang on there!have faith and believe in yourself!and when it's over,you're gonna miss it all.


specially to wangbojia: don't worry dear,things will be fine,路到桥头自然直,it might not be that bad.and there's still econs,so there's still hope!maybe it can change their minds?though what i or my parents say might not change anything,just know that we are always here for you ok!(:

两年前我们在复旦附中相识

复旦附中可爱的高一（7）班

got back almost all papers.

you know what,maybe kindness don't always beget kindness.applies to you and to me.you are just trying to be nice and so am i.i thought it's all changing,my opinion is changing.and i even thought you could be a friend or something,instead of being so standard.and i AM treating you as a friend.mommy always tells me,don't get too overly close with people,coz they might not like it or you may easily offend them,you might unknowingly be irrespectful.especially to those who are your 长辈.but i'm naturally a person who likes to make friends and be close to everyone i meet.i like to give everything i could in a relationship,and i just hope that maybe i can get almost the same in return,though i don't expect the same.but then it seems that you don't always get what you give,sometimes not even a little bit.and the sad thing is everytime you thought you've found a new friend or made a improvement in your current relationships,it all turn out to be just you thinking too much;coz they might think otherwise.i'm just trying to be nice especially when someone is being against by many and i don't see anything wrong with it.isn't it letting God's love flow?or maybe i'm focusing too much on my own purpose that i forgot His.but anyway if you don't like it,i can try to stop though it's not what i want to do,so i'll probably continue to be nice,please ignore as you will.

two whole day of dancing~~ love it but it's super tiring and draining.

now i think back to last year,it feels unreal.how can anyone mug so hard and persevere for so long.it's amazing the force that has driven me.is it the fear of failing and not being able to graduate?but there's the fear of not being promoted this year as well,so why is it that i couldn't find the energy and persistence to sprint to the end?if i fail,i deserve to.coz 一分耕耘，一分收获,if i didn't work hard enough, i shouldn't expect much in return.and i can't blame anyone else.there's still one more paper left,yet since thursday i've been enjoying life like promos' over.from the past year papers,csc wen4 da2 ti2 are not going to be easy.by slacking my time away,i'm commiting suicide.

this is dedicated to dearest YUANCHEN XUEYAN xiaopengyou(not anymore.)

刚看完国庆庆典，虽然是从一半开始看，但仍然让我激动不已，心里无法平静。

at times like this when there are so many things on hand,and so many things left uncleared;

No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of hosts,
Blessed is the man who trusts in You!

Psalm 84:11-12

God has wisely kept us in the dark concerning future events and reserved for himself the knowledge of them that he may train us up in a dependence upon himself and a continued readiness for every event.

in times like this,all that we can do is to keep the faith and continue to trust in Him, wait patiently for He will slowly reveal to us his great plans(: lesson learnt from king David, what happens to us is not as important as what happens to what happens to us... what matters is our responses to the conditions, not the conditions themselves.

let us see the light

God's plans are amazing.if bo's dad haven't been wanting to be with dad that day,he would be lying in the same hospital as dad now.but God made it in a way that the accident was cleverly avoided.it could have been bo's dad,but God sort of let dad sacrificed to save bo's dad.and it confirmed my belief again that helping others is actually helping yourself,because if bo's dad didn't want to keep dad company for his operation(which was initially scheduled)that day,then he would be the one falling from the platform.

and once again i'm comfort by our wonderful church community.pastor immediately "activated" 10 praying people when i told her of the accident.she rushed right away to NUH at 12am after knowing the hospital and stayed with mama until almost 2am!and return right back the next morning.and she got a group of oasis leaders to pray together during the operation.thank you all who prayed and visited.our prayers were heard(: it's interesting how everytime something happens,the first person that comes into mind is pastor,she's always like this person whom you can sort of run to for refuge.thank you for everything and the church community,it's so heartwarming to know that whatever's happening,we are not alone.coz we have this big praying force behind us!and prayer is the most powerful weapon!(: amazing God.

and even in such situations,we give thanks to you; coz none can fathom your amazing plans for us, plans to prosper us,not to harm us.